As mentioned in our last post, most people can tell within the first 15 minutes of a date whether or not it’s going to work out. Just like fix-ups, online dating match-ups fail for all kinds of reasons. Lack of chemistry is probably the biggest reason people want to bail out early during a date; but an annoying habit, smoking, embarrassing mannerism, body odor, slovenly appearance, grating voice and any number of mannerisms or personality traits can kill a date. When this happens to you – and it’s happened to us all – you can’t take it personally. There are all kinds of people in the world and we don’t all get along. What one person finds adorable, another person can find intolerable.
When you find yourself in this position, what do you do? In a Match.com survey, the majority of daters (52%) said they’d be honest with their date, but few would actually end the date. In seeming contradiction, 24% of survey participants said that instead of dealing directly with someone they didn’t want to date again, they’d be evasive about their availability, although younger daters would simply ignore the person’s calls.
Being upfront and honest with a date you’re not attracted to may be hard for some people – no one likes to be at the giving or receiving end of rejection — but it’s best to speak up early. Admitting that the date isn’t working out is easiest on both parties when it’s done right at the beginning before anyone has time to invest in a relationship. Being forthright about your feelings prevents both of you from wasting time and money on someone you have no interest in spending time with and also lets the other person know where he or she stands right away. There are no false expectations, and no one gets hurt when the other person doesn’t call. It’s the right and the honest thing to do.