• Online Dating After Divorce: A Guide for the Newly Single

    Online dating has come a long way since Match.com launched in 1995. Twenty years later, using online dating services no longer carries the stigma it once did. Given the popularity of online dating, it’s safe to say that virtual courtship is here to stay.Dating After Divorce

    Don’t worry if this is all new to you, though. You won’t be the first person looking for a fresh start via online dating.  Dating after divorce can be hard, so the following tutorial is here to help you.

    Be Tech Ready

    Online dating has evolved from being solely computer-based to being an app-based service. Now, mobile dating is where the magic happens. If you want to participate, you need the hardware to do so. This is probably obvious, but worth stating: you need an up-to-date smartphone like the Galaxy Note5 to optimize your experience. You are a dater now, so you shouldn’t be at home in from of a computer screen. Instead, you should be out experiencing the world and meeting people, while still staying connected with your smartphone.

    Choose a Dating Site

    There are hundreds, maybe even thousands, of online dating sites. Aside from the “regular” dating sites (eHarmony, Tinder, OkCupid, Match), there are a ton of specialized dating sites to choose from, such as Our Time (for adults over the age of 50), Farmers Only (not for city folk), Alikewise (for book lovers looking) and Gluten Free Singles (no dough here). Ask your single friends which sites they prefer and then try a few of the recommended sites.

    Create Your Profile

    First things first: Whatever you put online will exist for all of eternity. Keep this in mind as you build your profile.

    Photos are important. According to Match.com’s CEO, you’ll get 15 times more attention than people who didn’t bother to upload a photo. So, find your best high-resolution photo, and keep it classy. Your photo will play a big part in determining the kind of attention you garner.

    As for the personal information you provide, be honest. But, do not put your entire life story or anything too personal on your profile. Also, don’t talk about your ex, custody battle or anything else that might make you appear bitter. You might be upset about your divorce, but this isn’t the venue to highlight it. Frame yourself in a positive light and don’t take yourself too seriously.

    Ask for help with your profile. PewResearch shows that 22 percent of online daters have asked a friend to review or help them build their profiles. So don’t be embarrassed to ask. An outside opinion from a trusted source helps showcase the real you.

    Be Safe

    People on the Internet lie. Some are scammers. Some are more horrible than that. Even if a site vets its users, you need to be careful. Don’t trust everything their profiles say, and do your own research before getting too involved with somebody you meet online.

    Other safety rules to follow:

    • Create an email account that is only used for dating sites.
    • Don’t list your home address or phone number.
    • Protect your personal information.
    • Meet dates in public places, and let a friend know where you are going.
    • Trust your instincts.
    • Never, under any circumstances, send money to anyone you meet online. You’d be surprised how many smart, tech-savvy people get scammed out of money online. Don’t be one of them.

    Have Fun

    The most important thing to remember, aside from the safety spiel, is that you should have fun with online dating. This is a great opportunity for you to meet new people and to hone your dating skills. While emotionally draining, dating after divorce isn’t the end of the world. Attack this new phase of your life with a positive attitude.

    Consider the possibilities. Be adventurous. You are worth it.

  • First Date Tips: Planning a Great First Date

    Our first date tips are here to lay out the simple ground work of a great date.  A great first date doesn’t have to include entry to the hottest new club in town, tickets to this year’s most eagerly awaited concert or dinner at the post restaurant everyone is talking about. In fact, first dates that maximize the “WOW!” factor but leave little time for you and your online date to get to know each other frequently flop. You’re out a big chunk of cash with nothing but a “don’t call me, I’ll call you” to show for it. Another disappointing return on investment.dating photos

    You don’t have to max out your Visa card to have a great first date, our first date tips can help. When you’re in the “get-to-know-you phase,” the best first dates are often those that rely more on creativity than cash. (See our previous post about what not to do on a first date.) Remember, the goal of a first date is not lifelong commitment but getting to know each other well enough to decide whether you want to go on a second date.

    The most effective – and ultimately enjoyable – first date tips are those that allow you and your online date to focus on each other and spend time talking about interests, life views, goals, background, dreams – all the little things that determine compatibility. While coffee shop dates are popular first dates, they can lead to awkward silences if one of you isn’t naturally gregarious. Being on a first date is like standing in a glaring spotlight. Occasionally, you need to blink. Planning a date that gives you something physical to do while you’re chatting builds “blink time” into the date. For example: Taking a moment to line up a mini golf shot lets you escape the spotlight for a minute and prevents conversational pauses from feeling awkward.

  • The Secrets 2 Date a Girl (For Men Only)

      Clueless on how to date a girl? Looking for some dating tips to skyrocket your success in dating? Spend 10 minutes to learn the best dating advice so you can gain ‘unfair’ advantage against …

    Sourced through Scoop.it from: thesecrets2.com

    Even though it says “The Secrets 2 Date a Girl” it works for dating women too. 😉  Dating can be hard.  That’s why we like to keep it as simple and straightforward as possible.  Here is a simple list that breaks down what women really want and how they behave.

  • The Desperate Dater- Part 2

    ….Continued from last week.  Here are more things to watch for and RUN if they happen to you:No Way

    Your date starts sentences with “Well, actually…”

    Nobody likes a know-it-all or to be made to feel inferior. Almost anytime a sentence is started with “Well, actually”, the speaker is refuting what the other person in the conversation has said.  We all know excitable people who refuse to ever be proved wrong and will vehemently defend the correctness of their position to a point of fault. Many people are susceptible to this when discussing topics they are passionate about.  If someone falls into the category of needing to always assert how right they are – especially over pedantic issues – they are probably not going to change anytime soon. It’s a deal breaker and you need to move on.

    Your date consistently pays more attention to their phone than to you

    If your date spends more time staring at their phone than engaging with you, this is a big deal breaker. Some people fiddle with their phones out of nervousness but this type of behavior suggests they are not really present in your conversation and their mind is elsewhere. Compulsive texting during a date is also in poor form.  This deal breaker applies not just prospective romantic partners, but all type of relationships. We’ve probably all done it at one point or another but ignoring a person right in front of you for what’s on your phone is selfish and inconsiderate.  Some workaholics are particularly guilty of being hyper-connected to the point of excess. This type of anti-social deal breaking behavior also can extend into more extreme versions such as avoiding face-to-face human interaction for Internet usage.

    Do any of these deal breakers sound familiar?

    You do not have to put up with being treated this way. Tell the other party why you found their behavior to be inexcusable and end the date.  Don’t waste your time on dates with people who act in these ways, because like the saying goes: there are plenty of fish in the sea.  Have you experienced any of these deal-breaking behaviors on dates before? How did you react? Do you have other strict deal breakers for geek dating? As always, leave your comments below – we want to know what you think.


  • The Desperate Dater- Don’t Be One and Don’t Date One.

    In the kindest and gentlest way possible I need to tell you something: do not be a desperate dater. Assert yourself and know that you deserve to be treated well. In short, know what your relationship deal breakers are and refuse to tolerate poor behavior.  Now, to clarify this a bit more. A deal breaker is an action or behavior that cannot be overlooked in a romantic partnership. It outweighs any other redeeming qualities the person may exhibit.Don't Date a Desperate Dater

    I’m not talking about nitpicking trivial things, but instead refusing to settle on issues that point to a fundamental incompatibility between prospective partners.  There are so many fantastic people who date less-than-ideal partners out of fear that a better match won’t come along.  Most people could probably agree issues like criminal activity, violence, extreme rudeness, being excessively cheap, lying etc. are fairly universal deal breakers in the general dating pool. Many other deal breakers are personal, based on past dating experience.  If someone exhibits any of these, it’s time to move on because there is a better match out there for you!  Some of these points may seem trivial at first, but in actuality signal larger and more consequential issues within a potential relationship. Here are a few red flags to watch out for:

    Not respecting your interests

    Like many things in life, to each their own applies, as long as a particular interest isn’t hurting others, it’s all good.  If you’re dating someone who doesn’t share your particular interest and he or she mocks or belittles you for it, that’s a form of put-down. That type of behavior is inexcusable.  Romantic partners don’t have to share all of the same interests, but at the bare minimum, they should respect tastes differ from their own.  Trying to change you or dissuade you from your ways is a deal breaker. Imposing a value judgment on a certain interest as lesser or greater than others (namely theirs over your own) is also a reason to walk.


  • Tips for Dating While Unemployed

    Have you put together a great online dating profile but are hesitant to respond to messages and chat invitations because you recently lost your job? While looking for a job is a priority, there is no reason that you have to completely ignore online dating or your search for love and romance because you are also hunting for a job.Dating While Unemployed

    There is no need to hide that you are unemployed. You can be honest about the fact that you are out of work, just don’t monopolize the conversation by talking about it. No matter what your current situation you should not take over the conversation and job loss does not change that.

    You are not defined by a job and you do not have to let the fact that you are out of work completely shake your confidence. You can continue to flirt online and suggest meeting online dates for coffee to cut down on expenses.  It is certainly not a good idea to go overboard and spend a lot of money to impress someone if it means derailing your budget. Again, this is good advice to follow whether you have a job or not. Plus, you may even find that you are much more creative in finding low-cost outings because you are not working.

    Every date does not lead to lasting romance so if you don’t hit it off with someone you’ve met online, do not assume this is because you are out of a job. Some great conversation and the potential for romance may be just what you need to distract you from the stress of looking for work. Plus, when you are looking for work, any new people you meet may be able to point you in the direction of employment opportunities.

    Linked in

  • Tips for Online Dating After a Serious Illness

    Going through a serious illness certainly does not diminish a person’s desire for love, romance and companionship. In some cases, it may make that desire stronger: once you have lived through a serious illness, you may be even more interested in living life to the fullest with someone by your side. There are online dating sites that have been created specifically for people with certain illnesses. You are not limited to these sites, of course, but for some people this provides common ground and a comfort level that they may not have on a general dating site.dating after illness

    If there are no obvious physical signs, you may not need to discuss your illness right away. But when should you bring it up? You don’t have to mention it as soon as you meet someone but you would not want to get into a long-term relationship without discussing a serious health issue. Mention it too soon and you may find some dates will lose interest. If that happens, do not give up.

    A doctor who treats people with cancer wrote:

    “Don’t read into feelings and actions that are not reciprocated right away. Your sensitivity may be clouding your judgment about perceived rejection. Even without any life-altering diseases, everyone has likes and dislikes . The one you have your eyes set on may simply be not into you. After a little nudging, don’t be a pest, move on and don’t let it get to you.”

    This is good advice for anyone who hopes to find love through online dating. You may think that there is something about you or your past that is a liability, but don’t think that everyone will see it that way. In fact, if you have persevered through illness, you have inner strength that is to be admired.

    Linked in

  • Suddenly Single? Tips for Getting Back into Dating Pool

    If you’re newly divorced, recently separated or are coming off a long-term relationship that went sour, jumping back into dating can feel like diving into a shark tank. If you haven’t played the field for 5, 10 or 20 years, taking that first plunge back into the dating pool can be a shock to the system – terrifying, exciting and a little intimidating. The dating landscape has changed significantly over the past decade. Stepping back into the dating scene after an absence is going to feel like walking onto an alien planet. Nobody does the bar scene or fix-ups anymore. Dating action has moved onto internet dating sites and social media networks.Getting back into the Game Dating Headshots

    If you’re suddenly single, you’ll find that dating rules have changed too. You no longer have to rely on chance meetings or your friends’ sketchy matchmaking skills to find a date. Today, you simply sign up for an online dating service where computers compare your likes and dislikes to those of thousands of other singles and spit out a list of “perfect matches.” At least that’s the promise. The reality isn’t quite that simple or “perfect;” but online dating sites are selling the dream, not the reality. Despite their commercials and come-ons, internet dating sites are in it for the money, not love.

    Unfortunately, people who are struggling to recover from a broken relationship don’t consider this. They’re lonely, hurt and running low on self-esteem. They want the dream! But ignoring the realities of online dating dooms you to frustration and disappointment until you figure out how the system really works. Fortunately, there’s no need to reinvent the wheel. If you’re new to online dating, you can profit from the experiences (mistakes) of other online daters. It also pays to remember that despite the problems associated with online dating services, they can and often do work. Good or bad, online dating sites are where dating couples meet today. It is true that 1 in 5 people meet online. Your next special someone could be waiting for you in cyber space. Just don’t let the dream blind you to the reality.

    Linked in

  • How to Bite Back in Dog-Eat-Dog World of Online Dating

    We know, online dating can be tough.  In the dog-eat-dog world of online dating, it’s every man and woman for himself. The constant consumer complaints about unfair business practices and lousy customer service have made it crystal clear that when you join an online dating service, you’re pretty much on your own. Despite their lofty promises, you just can’t count on internet dating sites to have your best interests at heart. The only people they seem to care about are the dead presidents pictured on the cash their members keep shoveling into their coffers.

    But enough sour grapes. Despite their numerous problems, given our hectic schedules, online dating sites dating onlineare still the fastest and most popular way to meet other people. But while we may have to live with them, that doesn’t mean we have to join them. (Well, yes, technically you do have to join an online dating site and pay your dues; but you don’t have to stoop to their level!) You can bite the hand online dating services try to stick in your pocket by beating them at their own game. And at the same time you might find that love of a lifetime you’ve been looking for.

    Take Back Control of Your Online Dating Profile from Your Online Dating Service

    What you have to do is take back control of your online dating profile from your online dating service. Don’t allow yourself to be satisfied with posting the lame fill-in-the-blank profile provided on the online dating site. And don’t follow their advice to download any recent photo for your dating headshot. This isn’t just a spur of the moment fling you’re contemplating (and even if it is, give yourself a real shot at getting it). This could be your chance to find the love of your life you’ve been dreaming about.

    Crafting your online dating profile is serious business, and you should give it everything you’ve got. You wouldn’t go after your dream job with a tossed together resume and a photo from last Christmas. Don’t shoot yourself in the foot by posting a ho-hum dating profile and a shadowy or fuzzy dating headshot.

    LinkedIn Success Download

  • Why Selfies Don’t Make Good Online Dating Photos

    When you sign up for an online dating site, you want to make a good impression right?  A selfie certainly sends a message, but is it the one you want? If you are like most people, you are busy and you signed up for online dating services with one goal in mind: to meet more people. Among those new people, hopefully there is that special someone who is a great match for you and your goals. One of the best ways to do so is to spend a considerable amount of time on your online dating profile. selfie

    Put Your Best Foot Forward

    In fact, crafting an engaging profile is one of the best online dating tips that can be used by anyone, regardless of your age or if you are new at the online dating scene. Since this is often the first impression that a person has of you, it is important to put forth some time and effort to get it right. This means a great profile picture to help ensure your online dating success.

    Take a Great Picture

    Though it can be tempting to take selfie as your profile picture, you might want to think twice about that strategy. If you are serious about your efforts to find the person of your dreams, the photos you use can make all the difference. In fact, the pictures you use on your profile will be how people searching will really judge you, at least at first. If a person does not find your picture appealing, it is not likely that they will spend time on your profile. This means you will want those pictures to be the best they can be to entice people to read further and to make contact with you.

    Invest in Professional Pictures

    You deserve so much more than a simple selfie picture. Using a professional photographer these days is an experience in discovering yourself. Gone are the days when using a professional simply involved a session in a stuffy studio. These days, you can enjoy a range of different poses, both inside and outside, a studio.

    Let Your Personality Shine Through

    In fact, choosing a local photographer frees you to be yourself. Because the photographer has experience with various settings, they can help show your personality in the best light. Candid shots that involve your favorite activities, such as the outdoors, music or fashion, are just some of the ways that allow you to stand out among the crowd when it comes to your profile.